Wednesday, 11 July 2007

my giraffe

I had a dream....Bt it was nuthing like any Martin L. King had.
I had a dream this morning (nite shift again).
I dreamt that there was a giraffe in my back yard n that i was having sex with it (anally or vaginally...dnt exactly remember which hole).
Now, wat i found interesting wasn't the fact tht i was having sex with a giraffe, but rather the thoughts i was having during sex with a giraffe. The fact that i could have sex with a giraffe wud mean that i'm like 10' 11" or something with a proportionate pole to match.Nw that's freaky.
N as i kept pumping, i thot that i shud probably see a shrink about this.
Always wanted to see a shrink.Just spend a lazy afternoon spewing my heart out to a fair lady in her mid forties who is probably sexually deprived.Tell her some bullshit story about how i was gang raped by my neighbour's security gorillas that were mad coz they lost the turf war to my other neighbour's turkeys over who gets to beat up my other neighbour's alsatians.Then i'd tell her how the turkeys got enraged on finding out n pecked at my pecker n now (amidst sobs with unnecessary tears) im not sure i can have a woody anymore.Could she please check??N then hav wild freaky fcuk on her soft leather couch.
I'd like to see a shrink.
Damn thngs cost more per hour than lawyers tho.
Oh how i hate lawyers.4yrs in campus with the last one spent screwing every living thing coz they dont hav anythng better to do since they pulling 3 courses per semester.Then after that, they are set loose on the earth like the devil's spawn that they are with the objective to rape, rob n plunder every man n company that may cross their path n to do so under the banner of propagating justice.
Man i hate lawyers.Had this image of putting 1000 or so of the demons in an airtight hall.Then i'd drive in an old beetle with lovely black exhaust fumes n leave it running in the hall.N watch how the little demons react as they suffocate.With some making calls to their families (i wud say loved ones, but i dont think demons have loved ones) n mistresses wit the myriad of phones they carry (kenyan standard shud b about 3 phones per lawyer-1 for the wife he used to fcuk.1 for the wo/man he's currently fcuks, n 1 for the clients he fcuks everday), with others shagging b4 they die, n others trying to get to the keys by using their credit cards to jimmy the door (i'm sure they saw this in a movie.Such is the intelligence of lawyers).
Damn that wud b cool.The idea was extremely seductive.
Was about this point i gave one last hump n...

O.M.G!! Im cumming!!

That was one tight giraffe!!

Thursday, 5 July 2007

great events

Two great things have happened to me in the span of a half hour!

1.As i happily strolled thru the streets of nairobi (had bn walking for bout 20min), some guy came up to me n says: "Funga zip", n walks away.Bleeding hell.Had been walkin around displaying my flowery boxers for that entire period n no one had botherd say anythng (but then again, i shud have known.Fly women were returning my gaze.Now i know why, coz that sh*t don't happen).

2.A chick gave me brief, clear directions, with landmarks n relevant street information...n via sms.Who wud hav thought a woman has a sense of space n time (yes, i am a chauvinist, n a homophobe to boot.Blog bout that later).

Two posts in one day.Cool.Time to get back to my scrumptious Wimpy burger.

The moon......explained

Unexplained mysteries to the rescue. Posted the pics of the moon in there, and got an almost instant reply. I love that forum.

Anyway, here it is (courtesy of Waspie_Dwarf)

The object was the planet Venus. Venus is the third brightest object in the sky after the Sun and Moon and this is why this was so obvious. From your location the two came very close together, but from much of Europe the Moon actually passed in front of Venus.

When the Moon passes in front of a star or planet (or a planet on asteroid passes in front of a star) it is known as an occultation. These are very common for the Moon, for example it occulted Saturn on 2nd March this year, and it frequently occults bright stars. They are less common for planets and asteroids.

Occultations are useful as precisely timing when the star disappears and reappears can give accurate information as to the exact orbit and diameter of an object. This is not so important with the Moon as we have more direct methods of measurement, but can be extremely useful with asteroids.

The rings of Uranus were discovered in 1977 when it occulted a star. The star flickered repeatedly both before and after it was occulted by the planet's disc. Astronomers concluded that the only possible explanation for this was a set of rings, a conclusion that has now been confirmed by images from the Voyager 2 spacecraft and the Hubble Space Telescope.

I'm off to play "cha mama na cha baba". hehehe