Thursday, 13 September 2007

Mid Rebuttal

Glad I can finally give a sort of rebuttal on D.D's embelishment of truths. But... ah what the heck, let him have his literary license. It is quite entertaining to read about something u did! Perhaps I will say something after he is through with the complete story.

Of late, I have been thinking that perhaps Simund Freud wasn't so wrong:sexual energy is a force to reckon with. This is much so for men, somehow they are not as perfect as women are in supressing sexual desires! A man may love a woman to no end but as long as he is not getting enough sex, maybe due to distance, he will most definitely stray. Stray here doesn't necessarily mean that he goes after whores and other women, nope. He may stray by drowning his overbearing sexual urges in alcohol (this is not an attack at u D.D) or God or something else. The basic is idea is that much of what the man does will be as a way of having himself some or blocking the idea of having some.

Perhaps that is why we work. We all know that the jobless have sex so much and that is why they tend to have more kids than those who are working. But hey, these are just my thoughts.

Tuesday, 4 September 2007

Recovered....Part 1!

50hr's later, n I'm well enough to finally tell this tale of NewElijah's idiocy last friday. N i should stop trying to gamble and getting into every bet on earth.

It all started last furahi day when my boss took me for pints (I'm falling in love with him.....actually got to 3.30pm, busy as hell, n he sez the magic word...."Twende!!!"). Leave work and go to his locals which is rather dingy, but who gives a damn!!

The evening wears on, i'm starving, n i take my leave. Meet up with my buddy (let's call him G. who was very horny n had been promised a nite of wild passion by some lale he met last week). Grab more pints as we wait for nyama to iva n shit. He's running around all over the place looking for his lale (...she needs a name.....shall come up with one eventually as i narrate events), as i sit and watch this suspiciously lesbian couple in the corner doing their thing (grinding and stuff on the dance floor is acceptable....chatting and carressing each other's thighs while sitted is kinda iffy). It's bout this time that NewElijah calls me up, n begs me to save his sorry arse from C.Soundd.....found out what i was saving him from later (coming up in this story. stay tuned).
G. get's his lale and brings her back to the table....she quickly orders a guiness (on my tab without asking......that black fluid must be the reason lales are able to go at it all nite. I'd ask a chick, but they don't drink the stuff). Anyway, i announce my intended departure and G. pleads to let him finish his beer.....was wondering where he got beer from when he confesses that it's all stolen from other tables (really need to stop hanging out with this guy. Could get myself in alot of trouble).
1.5hrs and 6th beer theft later, we finally hit the road....lale in tow. B*tch doing like 10 fags every 45min. But is all good. Im heavy on the cancer sticks as well. Problem was that these were my cancer sticks.

C.Soundd. Don't really like this joint. Too loud. Doors locked. Call from NewElijah. He's coming out. Wait. Out he comes, together with "sms-L" (short man syndrome's a strain of the Ebola virus. Some nasty shit right there!!...look it up if u don't believe me), "Big W", "Lil' J" (don't hate on the names....fits them to a T) and "Christ". Now Christ is some chick i thankfully haven't seen in ages and from how it looked, the reason i was to be NewElijah's messiah. I aptly name her Christ coz one look at her and you'll go "Christ, didn't you get hit by the ugly train!!". NewElijah was all over that shit...(literary licence disclaimer. This story has been edited to fit my own ends, coz it cud have been Lil J all over her, but who really cares).
N.E: Plans?
D.D: Whatever...not home.
G. :Twende Feelers!!
General: Noooo!!!
Christ: Where's Feelers?
D.D: (whisper) "Don't worry, you'll be right at home the way you look"
G. :It's the only place that's open.

Good point. It was 4.40am.
To Be Continued!!!

Monday, 3 September 2007

Still Strong & a rant

It's been a month now, n i'm still celibate.........might just pull it off (highly doubt it tho).

Anywhoo, idleness plus a story of an old acquaintance who wanted to end his life coz of a little slip caused me to remember the following rant that once floated in my head bout 4yrs ago before i even came across blogging:

Should i have told?!

t'was my first time
her touch, her scent, her eyes
a seemed like a dream
i wish it were
t'was my last time.

I'm surrounded; trapped
by their jeers, their jest, their taunts,
i'm weary, beaten and shunned;
i turn away,
i no longer belong
should i have told?

the 'chosen' welcome me
but it's the same
their smiles, their prayers, their sympathy,
their hearts betrayed as they writhe
at my touch, my sight, my very breath
i'm alone
i do no belong
should i have told?

the cool steel shaft comforts me
no longer desiring what i once possed
a bright flash before the all consuming darkness
i'm swimming, spinning, rising
higher and higher
further and further
from the world i no longer belonged
where i shouldn't have told

great gates begin to close at my approach
i rush forth but it's too late
i fall to the ground
crying, cursing, damning
all that i once called true
i turn away
as the rustle of trees remind me
that i'm not welcome
i do not belong

the disease, the sweltering heat, the nauseating stench
surrounded by gloom
my heart welcoming every sickening moment
my torment not beginning
merely continuing
i'm at peace
i finally have a place i belong
i settle down, content
in my suffering, my hate, my little piece of 'heaven'
and wait
for those i told.

Lets get rid of the stigma that surrounds AIDS.

Tuesday, 14 August 2007


So it is kind of a bitch getting shit on this blog through my mac at work, whether it is because its a mac or because the network here is fcukd i dont know. But like you can see i do upload when i can. This morning is one such time. I am actually supposed to be reading up and prepairing for a workshop with my authors for a book, but I felt i have to do this so screw the preparations, i will get by.

A couple of days ago Daddy Diablo sent me a link to a very interesting blog. As I read the blog it sparked some deep thoughts in me. Most of us spend the larger part of our days at our work places. But how many of us actually enjoy our jobs?How many of us are doing what we always wanted to do?How many of us wake up early all excited about their day at work and actually feel sad when they leave their work places. And am not talking about those twisted guys who are happy coz they will be distracted at the work place and sad coz now they are going to be left to their thoughts without any distractions!!!

I partially fall into the latter category (I guess it kinda gives credo to my blog alias-disturbed). But anyway this is how i see life
-you wake up early to go to a job that you probably hate
-at some stage you marry or get married. The man goes shagging out there because he finds more comfort away from his wife. He buys big expensive cars and makes loads of money just to prove his selfworth even though the hustle is killing him. The wife also goes getting shagged out there coz theres more comfort away from her aloof or sexless husband or she devotes her life to her kids and her job and jewellery and such other trivialties as an escape.
-the kids grow up, some turn out ok others either become thugs, gay, transexual and god knows what else.
-you are left alone witha spouse you despise
-you die.
Someone please tell me what this life is for!!!!
I gotta get back to my work now, work that i dont believe in at all, yes, am sort of an atheist but i have to prepare work that will be used to teach kids about how good God is and how they should all hanker after his whimsical demands. Later.

Tuesday, 7 August 2007

She's Gone!

It's been close to one month since i last posted.......a result of laziness, disease, confusion and the thought of impending loneliness. Which is why, i played God and invited Disturbed to join me in this "unveiling of hearts" on a public forum that is blogging.........nay, i am God!!!!!!!!!!!!
Align Center
Before i proceed, may i say:

My woman is gone (woman is gone), my woman is gone (woman is gone).

She had left me a note hanging on my door:
She say she couldn't take it, she couldn't take any more.
The pressure around me - just couldn't see;
She felt like a prisoner who needs to be free.
Fools have tried, yeah - wisemen have failed:
Oh, listen to me, honey: life could never be another jail.
Still we know now: we'll never see smoke without fire
And everyone you see has a heart desire.

She's gone (she's gone), she's gone (she's gone),
she's gone (she's gone), she's gone, ye-ah!
Oh, mocking bird, have you ever heard,
Words that I never heard?
Oh, mocking bird, have you ever heard,
Words that I never heard?

She made it through the exit (she just couldn't take it);
She made it through the exit (she just couldn't make it).
And, oh, my children, if you see me cryin':
My woman is gone.
If you see me - if you see me - if you see me -
if you see me cryin' -
If you see me - if you see me - if you see me -
if you see me cryin':

She's gone (she's gone), she's gone (she's gone), she's gone, ye-ah!
Oh, mocking bird, have you ever heard,
Words that I never heard?
Oh, mocking bird, have you ever heard,
Words that I never heard?
She's gone (she's gone), she's gone (she's gone), she's gone
(she's gone)

(Bob Marley)

She left as of 0745hrs 05/08/'07, to go pursue her studies. After years of bitching and fighting each other, she's left, and now i want her back. How pathetic is that?? Of course her departure was heralded by song and dance from "Miss 21" and the "Case of the X" (sorry for not having shared that before Disturbed), but i somehow don't want the side distractions (secondary head has a Ksh 1000 wager with my primary head that this state of affairs won't last a month).

I'm a little whipped punk with no direction without her........i'm tempted to post more Bob lyrics , but i'll refrain n do it some other time in the week!!

For now, i shall exercise my right hand, sending her text messages (get your minds out the gutter) of love and all affiliated emotions as i plot my next move.

the race

Everyone is currently writing or reading something to do with avoiding getting into the rat race or how to get yourself out of it.Basically am talking about anyone who is reading or writting or has written a self-help or self-motivation book. Trust me it is all BS!There is no avoiding the rat race ever! You actually get into it even without knowing it. Even that guy who is writing to tell you how to avoid the rat race is within the rat race: he is writing so that he can sell the books so that he can pay his bills, buy that SUV he has always wanted (or recently started wanting coz he had discovered a new way to make money out of fools) and to keep his concubines happy! Why am i saying this, because for close to ten years, i thought i was avoiding the rat race but when i recently thought more closely about it, i found that i had been in it ever since i was born. I always wanted a better bag, better grades, more money to buy whatever i want and so on. The rat race is LIFE. So next time you are in a bookshop and you are about to buy a self-help/motivation book, think again. It is all a load of BULLSHIT!!!
Bringing to my next rant. Whats with preachers selling videos and books and making mega money out of the word of God?Isnt preaching, wisdom, healing and working miracles some of the gifts of the holy spirit which are given freely to the service of mankind?Since when did it become acceptable for people to make mega bucks out of the gifts of the holy spirit? And dont tell me they sell for sustenance because the materials are sold at profit not at cost. So yes here again i offer my insightful advice, when you buy that book from Joyce Myers, TD Jakes, Margaret Wanjiru and their ilk, you are basically shoving a pole up your behind. They are thieving from you. Open your eyes!For heavens sake read the Bible!!

Wednesday, 11 July 2007

my giraffe

I had a dream....Bt it was nuthing like any Martin L. King had.
I had a dream this morning (nite shift again).
I dreamt that there was a giraffe in my back yard n that i was having sex with it (anally or vaginally...dnt exactly remember which hole).
Now, wat i found interesting wasn't the fact tht i was having sex with a giraffe, but rather the thoughts i was having during sex with a giraffe. The fact that i could have sex with a giraffe wud mean that i'm like 10' 11" or something with a proportionate pole to match.Nw that's freaky.
N as i kept pumping, i thot that i shud probably see a shrink about this.
Always wanted to see a shrink.Just spend a lazy afternoon spewing my heart out to a fair lady in her mid forties who is probably sexually deprived.Tell her some bullshit story about how i was gang raped by my neighbour's security gorillas that were mad coz they lost the turf war to my other neighbour's turkeys over who gets to beat up my other neighbour's alsatians.Then i'd tell her how the turkeys got enraged on finding out n pecked at my pecker n now (amidst sobs with unnecessary tears) im not sure i can have a woody anymore.Could she please check??N then hav wild freaky fcuk on her soft leather couch.
I'd like to see a shrink.
Damn thngs cost more per hour than lawyers tho.
Oh how i hate lawyers.4yrs in campus with the last one spent screwing every living thing coz they dont hav anythng better to do since they pulling 3 courses per semester.Then after that, they are set loose on the earth like the devil's spawn that they are with the objective to rape, rob n plunder every man n company that may cross their path n to do so under the banner of propagating justice.
Man i hate lawyers.Had this image of putting 1000 or so of the demons in an airtight hall.Then i'd drive in an old beetle with lovely black exhaust fumes n leave it running in the hall.N watch how the little demons react as they suffocate.With some making calls to their families (i wud say loved ones, but i dont think demons have loved ones) n mistresses wit the myriad of phones they carry (kenyan standard shud b about 3 phones per lawyer-1 for the wife he used to fcuk.1 for the wo/man he's currently fcuks, n 1 for the clients he fcuks everday), with others shagging b4 they die, n others trying to get to the keys by using their credit cards to jimmy the door (i'm sure they saw this in a movie.Such is the intelligence of lawyers).
Damn that wud b cool.The idea was extremely seductive.
Was about this point i gave one last hump n...

O.M.G!! Im cumming!!

That was one tight giraffe!!

Thursday, 5 July 2007

great events

Two great things have happened to me in the span of a half hour!

1.As i happily strolled thru the streets of nairobi (had bn walking for bout 20min), some guy came up to me n says: "Funga zip", n walks away.Bleeding hell.Had been walkin around displaying my flowery boxers for that entire period n no one had botherd say anythng (but then again, i shud have known.Fly women were returning my gaze.Now i know why, coz that sh*t don't happen).

2.A chick gave me brief, clear directions, with landmarks n relevant street information...n via sms.Who wud hav thought a woman has a sense of space n time (yes, i am a chauvinist, n a homophobe to boot.Blog bout that later).

Two posts in one day.Cool.Time to get back to my scrumptious Wimpy burger.

The moon......explained

Unexplained mysteries to the rescue. Posted the pics of the moon in there, and got an almost instant reply. I love that forum.

Anyway, here it is (courtesy of Waspie_Dwarf)

The object was the planet Venus. Venus is the third brightest object in the sky after the Sun and Moon and this is why this was so obvious. From your location the two came very close together, but from much of Europe the Moon actually passed in front of Venus.

When the Moon passes in front of a star or planet (or a planet on asteroid passes in front of a star) it is known as an occultation. These are very common for the Moon, for example it occulted Saturn on 2nd March this year, and it frequently occults bright stars. They are less common for planets and asteroids.

Occultations are useful as precisely timing when the star disappears and reappears can give accurate information as to the exact orbit and diameter of an object. This is not so important with the Moon as we have more direct methods of measurement, but can be extremely useful with asteroids.

The rings of Uranus were discovered in 1977 when it occulted a star. The star flickered repeatedly both before and after it was occulted by the planet's disc. Astronomers concluded that the only possible explanation for this was a set of rings, a conclusion that has now been confirmed by images from the Voyager 2 spacecraft and the Hubble Space Telescope.

I'm off to play "cha mama na cha baba". hehehe

Thursday, 28 June 2007

God save Kenya

I came across these pics.
I gotta say, just looking at them gave me a kawaru in my throat and my eyes watered. I put myself in their place, n now I'm thanking God for all the blessings that he has tossed my way....that for much of the time, i take for granted, as to many of us.
I'm also thinking, fcuk you God for allowing such sh*t to happen to so many undeserving people.
This country is going to the dogs.

Tuesday, 19 June 2007

Last night

These are the two pics i took last night of the moon and star phenomenon. Apparently, i couldn't attach the photos to yesterday's post because i was sending the post from my phone and blogger only allows for text (unless you live with serial killers in the americas and other like places).

They aren't very clear though.....using my nokia N70 camera......isn't very good at long distance photos at all. But i do love my phone. Shall blog about it sometime.

The pic on the left is me before had a drag on a fag (shall blog about my nicotine addiction sometime as well....and why i'm not about to quit....and why i dislike Nakuru so much).

Enough with the amateur photography. Time now to get back to work.

Monday, 18 June 2007

weird nite

Anyone in nairobi (east africa) who can shud step outside right now n check out the crescent moon.
There's a star (satellite, or watever) next to it.
Anyone thinking End of Days?Coz this shit is weird.

Tuesday, 12 June 2007

My job.

Today, i got to work at 8am, left at 11am, n now I'm back for the nite....5pm to 8am. How sweet is that?? A total of 18hrs shall be spent here and the truly sad thing is that, i usually have the time of my life working at nite. No phones ringing, no bosses screaming down at me, no irritating customers to be served coz they think that i'm not doing shit n should drop down at their knees n beg n plead them to buy!!

Oh, n i don't do desk work.A nite shift is spent outside with the elements (which is why the freaking clouds are putting a damper on my day). Never been good at desk work. They say that that is where the money is, and where growth is, but if growth means shifting my bum from one chair to another on a higher floor, then i'd rather not. Did the accounts and programming fields (programming is very cool as a pass time exercise), but the engineering field...damn!!That's where the action is at. The day i put my name on my first patent (even if i'm broke as hell), that shall be it for me.....self actualisation. Then after that, i can probably retire to perching my cute tushy at a desk job, where the most exciting thing will be my first papercut (i hear those are nasty...but until u get abit of acid dripping on you on a regular basis, then it's probably just child's play).

The night is quiet, n peaceful. The additional 7hrs of work means that i can be more thorough with my work, which i thoroughly enjoy. The silence and sterility of the lab contrasting with the screeching, grease and exhaust fumes of 3 tonne motors is magical.

Time to get grease all over me!!

Thursday, 7 June 2007


That was totally cool.
Serious blogging from here on.

ALL HAIL Google!!

just testing.

Tday is the first time since May that i'v had access to a computer.
Trying out this mobile blog thing to see if i can post while i'm on the move (using the phone).
Hope it works!

Friday, 18 May 2007

Creation Story

My many hours of surfing the net finally bear fruit, culminating in my finally stumbling across something beautiful and worth my time to share.

Got this from "I AM'sSon's Thoughts" of "Unexplained Mysteries". Found it to be thoroughly enlightening and in good taste (unlike the garbage that is spewed forth in in most churches).

""Recently, a young man who is attending our church approached me. I was aware that he is an atheist, and has been attending our church because he enjoys the friendly atmosphere. He and my son have become good friends and through my son, he knew that I enjoy discussing interesting questions about Christianity, God, and the Bible and he had a question. Here is basically our conversation (not an exact transcript).

YM (Young Man): If Creation is perfect, then why is there sin, illness, war, decay, death?

Me: Good question. OK, before we begin this discussion, just as with any discussion we need to figure out what we're going to take as givens. First, since we are talking about Creation, I believe we are talking about something that has a Creator, so we are talking about God. Also, since you are talking to me, I assume you want to look at this from a Christian standpoint, so we are talking about God as described in the Bible. So, we are talking about God who is perfect, omnipresent, omnipotent, omniscient. Does this sound like what you want to talk about?

YM: Well, yes, but if Creation is not perfect then what does that say about God?

Me: Very good! But first we need to discuss this based on those givens, if we find that we cannot find an answer which fits within those grounds, then we have to question whether our foundations were sound. So, if we can't figure out why Creation is the way it is given that God is perfect, then we will have to figure out if maybe God isn't perfect, OK?

YM: OK, so if there's no way Creation could be perfect then maybe God isn't perfect?

Me: Right.


Me: Now, I am going to use analogies based on my understanding of the Bible and Christianity, if that's OK. We can look at verses, but I don't have my Bible and so, we'll have to wait until we can get our hands on one if you want to just look at verses.

YM: No, I've read Genesis, and that's why I have questions. I know you've been a Christian for a long time, have read the Bible and have some understanding.... That's what I want, I want to know what you understand... how it makes sense to you.

Me: OK, good. Let's say I build the perfect ball. It is perfectly round, no microscopic bumps or dents, perfectly smooth, perfect in any way you can measure. It's so perfect it also fits just perfectly in my hand, and is just the perfect weight, made out of an unbreakable material, so that it's absolutely perfect. Now, can we go out and play baseball with this ball?

YM: Not really.

Me: But if I take a brand new baseball and look at it, it's not a perfect ball. The stitching changes it's shape so it's not a perfect sphere and also creates bumps and dents and the leather itself is grainy. So, it's not a perfect ball, but it's the perfect ball to play baseball with. So, purpose is immensely important in determining whether something is perfect or not, right?

YM: Yeah, OK, I can see that. Even a new baseball would not be the perfect ball to play tennis with or football.

Me: Very good, so in order for us to determine whether Creation is perfect, we need to know it's purpose. What did God intend for Creation to do? Because in the Creation Story, at the end of every day God looked at what He had made and said it was good, and at the end of the 6 days, after man had also been created, He said it was "Very good," even though as an omniscient being He knew what was going to happen in Creation in the future. So if He knew what was going to happen, sin, illness, war, tornadoes, earthquakes, hatred... all of that He still saw it as very good, that means that Creation is perfect for it's purpose.

YM: OK. So, what's it's purpose?

Me: Very good, so in order for us to determine whether Creation is perfect, we need to know it's purpose. What did God intend for Creation to do? Because in the Creation Story, at the end of every day God looked at what He had made and said it was good, and at the end of the 6 days, after man had also been created, He said it was "Very good," even though as an omniscient being He knew what was going to happen in Creation in the future. So if He knew what was going to happen, sin, illness, war, tornadoes, earthquakes, hatred... all of that He still saw it as very good, that means that Creation is perfect for it's purpose.

YM: OK. So, what's it's purpose?

Me: Well, I think God gave us the answer in Genesis. Creation was not complete until man was on the scene, so I believe the purpose of Creation has to do with man.

YM: OK, but wasn't man perfect until he sinned so, isn't man a flawed creation?

Me: I think part of the confusion there comes from an assumption people make. In the story of Creation, God says, "Let us make man in our own image," and then we see the story of Adam and Eve, and we assume that Adam and Eve represent man made in God's image, but I don't think that's true since it does sort of lead to the idea that God "messed up."

YM: So you don't think that Adam and Eve were perfect?

Me: I think what's more likely true is that Adam and Eve were just the beginning of making man in God's image. They were physically perfect, and I believe they were also significantly smarter than we are and that they knew more about astronomy, biology, physics, chemistry, than we'll ever know since they walked with God, and I figure God told them all about it. So, they were perfect in those ways, but they lacked something which they needed in order to be "made in God's image." I believe that they were smart enough to understand completely when God told them, "Do not eat from the fruit of this tree, or you will die." I believe they understood what death meant and that they were supposed to obey or face consequences, but they lacked the one thing that eventually kept them from obeying. Although they had an intellectual understanding that disobeying was wrong, they had never experienced the results of disobedience. In order for man to be made in the image of God, for some reason he needs to have a full understanding of the effects of disobeying Him.

YM: So, why did God say He was going to make man in His own image if Adam and Eve weren't?

Me: I believe that we don't see man created in the image of God until the end of the Bible, until after the Final Judgment, when those who accepted the responsibility for their sins, accepted that their sin had separated them from God, that there was nothing they could do to repair the situation and accepted God's gift of His sacrifice... they are man made in God's image. And then the purpose of creation becomes apparent. The purpose is to provide a place where man will be able to experience all that he needs to experience to be made in God's image.

YM: OK, so Creation is perfect because it fulfills God's purpose, and Adam and Eve were also perfect, sort of, because they also fulfilled God's purpose as the beginning of making man in His image. So you're saying Creation is not flawed because it's exactly the way God intended it to be?

Me: Sort of, I guess I'm saying Creation is perfect because God intended for it to have all the "flaws" it has so it would fulfill its purpose.

YM: And the purpose of Creation is to make man in God's image, which for some reason requires that we go through all this crap.

Me: Yeah.

YM: So, it's kind of like being a teenager!

Me: What do you mean?

YM: Well, being a teenager sucks because it's when you start realizing that life is tough. As a kid, someone's always protecting you from all the crap of real life, but as you become a teenager you start experiencing some of the tough parts of life, and it sort of prepares you to become an adult, and you sort of need to go through the experiences of being a teenager to be a good adult, just like man needs to go through the crap of this life to be what God wants us to be.

Me: That's pretty good, I'm not sure I would have thought of that. So, were we able to figure out why Creation is the way it is while staying within the boundaries we set when we started?

YM: Yeah, I think we did. But I may have some more questions later.

Me: That's cool, I may have some more answers, or we may have to find someone who can give us both the answers.""

Wednesday, 16 May 2007

My First Time

N it's not about that, you sick perverts.

Anyway, I, the one and only Michael (who looks like me anyway) is finally here....taking my baby steps into the blogosphere or whatever the hell bloggers call it.

Big up to Acolyte. "My Part of the World" was the first blog i ever read. It's been downhill from there.....and now i'm finally typing sh*t as well.

Anyway, shall use this blog to do my rants, give my one-sided view of the world around me, curse, praise n piss on what i want, when i want and just generally release the demons within me!! (i'm sure that that sentence broke alot of grammar rules, but then again, who gives a flying fish!!)

I'm here.....i'm gone. Time to learn my way around this blog options.
(freaking lot of "anyways" in this post........gotta get me a new conjunction)