Tuesday 4 September 2007

Recovered....Part 1!

50hr's later, n I'm well enough to finally tell this tale of NewElijah's idiocy last friday. N i should stop trying to gamble and getting into every bet on earth.


It all started last furahi day when my boss took me for pints (I'm falling in love with him.....actually got to 3.30pm, busy as hell, n he sez the magic word...."Twende!!!"). Leave work and go to his locals which is rather dingy, but who gives a damn!!

The evening wears on, i'm starving, n i take my leave. Meet up with my buddy (let's call him G. who was very horny n had been promised a nite of wild passion by some lale he met last week). Grab more pints as we wait for nyama to iva n shit. He's running around all over the place looking for his lale (...she needs a name.....shall come up with one eventually as i narrate events), as i sit and watch this suspiciously lesbian couple in the corner doing their thing (grinding and stuff on the dance floor is acceptable....chatting and carressing each other's thighs while sitted is kinda iffy). It's bout this time that NewElijah calls me up, n begs me to save his sorry arse from C.Soundd.....found out what i was saving him from later (coming up in this story. stay tuned).
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G. get's his lale and brings her back to the table....she quickly orders a guiness (on my tab without asking......that black fluid must be the reason lales are able to go at it all nite. I'd ask a chick, but they don't drink the stuff). Anyway, i announce my intended departure and G. pleads to let him finish his beer.....was wondering where he got beer from when he confesses that it's all stolen from other tables (really need to stop hanging out with this guy. Could get myself in alot of trouble).
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1hr
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1.5hrs and 6th beer theft later, we finally hit the road....lale in tow. B*tch doing like 10 fags every 45min. But is all good. Im heavy on the cancer sticks as well. Problem was that these were my cancer sticks.

C.Soundd. Don't really like this joint. Too loud. Doors locked. Call from NewElijah. He's coming out. Wait. Out he comes, together with "sms-L" (short man syndrome L....it's a strain of the Ebola virus. Some nasty shit right there!!...look it up if u don't believe me), "Big W", "Lil' J" (don't hate on the names....fits them to a T) and "Christ". Now Christ is some chick i thankfully haven't seen in ages and from how it looked, the reason i was to be NewElijah's messiah. I aptly name her Christ coz one look at her and you'll go "Christ, didn't you get hit by the ugly train!!". NewElijah was all over that shit...(literary licence disclaimer. This story has been edited to fit my own ends, coz it cud have been Lil J all over her, but who really cares).
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N.E: Plans?
D.D: Whatever...not home.
G. :Twende Feelers!!
General: Noooo!!!
Christ: Where's Feelers?
D.D: (whisper) "Don't worry, you'll be right at home the way you look"
G. :It's the only place that's open.

Good point. It was 4.40am.
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To Be Continued!!!

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